


Poop Note: Paper Made of Toilet Paper

by Holy_Leonards_After_Dark (Holy_Leonards)



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Bad Communists, Crack, Death Note - Freeform, M/M, Table Sex, poo warnings, poop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 08:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6975124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards_After_Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nate discovers an odd looking file in Nick's stash. No, it is not the one about the Stranger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poop Note: Paper Made of Toilet Paper

**Author's Note:**

> My boyfriend explained what Death Note was and I had to Holy_Leonards_After_Dark It up!

“Nick, you better take a look at this.” Nate turned from the filing cabinet, holding a notebook in his hands. 

“What are you showing me that for?” 

The notebook was thin, well used. Most of the pages were torn out, taking the notebook's bulk with it. The cover was black, with white letters on it neither of them understood. 

“Strange, thought I was completely literate.” 

“Do you know what this is?” 

“No.” 

“This is a... a...” Nate's eyes got big, looking somewhere behind Nick. Nate screamed. 

“What?”

“Touch the notebook.” 

“???? No?” 

Nate threw the notebook at Nick's face. 

Suddenly monster. 

Nick and Nate, the dynamite duo, were both screaming. 

“I am a Shitty Commie,” the monster stated. “I am the owner of that not red notebook.” 

“Here, you can have it,” Nate said, throwing the notebook at the monster's face. 

“Don't you want power?” 

“I literally do not die,” Nate said. “Sometimes, I'm shot dead, and I just come right back. Sometimes I come back the last point I went to sleep, which can be annoying.” 

“You can become all powerful with this not red notebook. You can rule the world (with an iron fist), if you use it right.”

“I don't like it,” Nate said. 

“But this will give you the power to make anyone shit their pants.” 

Nate's eyes widened. “I like it.” 

The two men took the notebook. 

“So, are you going to stalk us or-” 

“Yes.”

“Well, alright, then,” Said Nick. His eyes lighting up red, and heart-shaped. 

“Filthy robot,” the other's lover replied. 

“You know,” Nick said, “All this... poop is getting me horny. I wish I could poop.” 

“Well, I have the answer to that problem right here.” 

Seductively – the kind of seduction Nick used to somehow manage to seduce an entire fanbase – Nate threw down the notebook. “Are you my math homework,” he began, “because I'm gonna do you all night long.” 

Slowly, he opened the notebook, revealing it's white interior. “I want to see what your insides look like.” He paused. “Wait... is that sexy, or murderous?” He shrugged, and pulled out his pen(is). 

He dry humped the table as he wrote Nick's name down. 

“Oh yeah, Nate baby, you really give the shit to me!”

“I'm doing you! See me do you?”

“Yes I see you.”

He finished writing the filthbot's name in the not red notebook. He moved his hand over a space and continued writing, saying what he was writing out loud.

“Have ugh him uuhhhhhh shit WOWOWOWOW his pants!”

And just like, shit happened. Literally. Nick's pants flooded with the stuff. It was filling up so fast that the pile of shit on the floor starting lifting Nick up to the ceiling. 

“Nate, honey, can you stop that?”

“I don't know.”

They looked at the ghost, Nick's neck almost breaking as it was stuck between a ceiling and a shitty place. 

“uhhh uhhh uhhhhhh...Capitalism rules!”

The shitty commie disappeared.

“Great now we're-”

CRUNCH! Nick's neck broke and his head fell to the floor. It was soon engulfed in robo-feces.

“I better get the hell outta here...dubya!”

Nate booked it back to the Sanctuary to seek sanctuary. Leaving his literal robot shitstorm for the Commonwealth to deal with.

Oh yeah, if you ever see Nate, please do not mention the incident. Anyone who has ends up either dying or eternally shitting their own pants.


End file.
